This is the Durable Dad podcast. I'm your host, tommy Geary. This show is going to give you the skills and tools you need to be a rock solid man for your work, your community and, most importantly, your family. All right, what's up? Episode number 42, the Durable Dad podcast. It's Christmas week. Merry Christmas If you celebrate. If not, hope you're enjoying the slower week.
Speaker 1:
We went to church over the holidays. In an episode recently, I talked about how we're trying to figure out what the heck spirituality looks like for our family and trying to plant some good values in the kids and how to do that. In the process of exploring what we're going to do. We're going to this church and we're not Christian, but it was an awesome Christmas season service and the pastor was talking about spreading joy. That's the message that I want to talk about spreading some joy, especially at this time of the year. That can sound soft. I think the word joy can sound soft. Just because my brain is telling me it can sound soft is a reason I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 1:
A lot of the guys that I talked to want more joy in their life, want more presence, want more contentment. Let's talk about it. My goal here with this podcast is that you have some tools and some motivation to spread joy in your life. Joy is happiness on steroids. It's a step up from happiness. It's a step up from being content. It's an emotion For me. When I'm feeling joy, it feels very light and warm. I have a smile on my face. My chest expands and lifts up. That feeling of joy is what we're looking to conjure up.
Speaker 1:
How do we spread more joy? First way we're going to spread some joy is by filling up our own cup. That term, fill up your own cup, gets thrown around a lot. I think it's for good reason. If we want to give joy and spread it, we have to have it first. To me, it makes me think of a cup of coffee. If you have a full cup of coffee that's warm, a little steam coming out of the top, it's something that's very inviting Because the coffee starts to go down in the cup. It's not as warm. It ends up getting cold At the bottom of the cup. If you're making coffee with a French press, that's usually sludgy and there's some grounds in the bottom of it. That's what we're giving away. When we don't fill up our cup, we give away the sludgy coffee instead of the warm, full cup of delicious coffee. Filling up our own cup with joy is the first way we do this.
Speaker 1:
By doing things that we enjoy that word enjoy is interesting we're going to bring in joy, fill ourselves up with joy In this case, at this time of the year, to do things that we like to do. It's hard to find that time. We have a lot of obligations, parties that we've decided to go to hosting that we've decided to do. Those things aren't always events that fill us up. And we also do a lot of events for our kids. We do kids focused activities and that's awesome. We wanna sacrifice, we wanna have a good time for our kids, but we don't want to be a martyr. We don't wanna do things that we're just dreading.
Speaker 1:
We went to zoo lights a couple weeks ago and zoo lights are something we are all looking forward to. We're outside, we're walking around. It's a good family experience and our daughter wanted to go into the aquarium. The aquarium at the zoo is awesome. We like going to the aquarium, but on zoo lights, when we're bundled up, we're really there to enjoy the lights and the fresh air. The last thing Brendan and I wanted to do was go into the aquarium, but we were kinda like, oh, we're here for the kids and as soon as we got in it just drained me. I'm pretty sure it drained Brenda Also. It was packed, it was stuffy, we had to de-layer all of our clothes and we could have done without it.
Speaker 1:
If we want to keep our joy filled up, do things that you enjoy. Maybe it's getting outside and getting some sunlight in your eyes. I know that I can get cabin fever after I'm in the house with family for a couple days. I mean, I go back to quarantine days and COVID, I need to go out and just run some errands. Just get some over. This week, when it's slower, there's no work and we're just hanging out, there can be some restlessness. So I would just say, if you need to work a little, plan some time to work, be intentional about it, schedule it. Only, do it for an hour, hour and a half, but if you know that that'll fill you up a little bit to get some work done, so it's not on your mind, do it, but don't let it suck you in for a long amount of time, all right. So fill up your cup.
Speaker 1:
Second way your words. What you say matters. What you say is an opportunity to bring joy to other people's lives. So lift people up encouraging words. When you're having small talk and just getting updates on different people, don't blow smoke with empty compliments that you don't really mean Truly. See the person, look at them, hear them and offer them some encouragement. Lift them up. I think it's really easy to point out when our kids are doing something wrong and remembering that we can spread joy by using our words and lifting up All right.
Speaker 1:
So moving on, number three this one is one that I appreciate. I feel joy when I receive this and I like giving joy this way are meetups. So not the obligations and big events that we have, but the buddy that you haven't seen in a while. Like reaching out to him. I'll have Christmas cocktails with friends throughout the holidays. When we lived in Colorado my old roommate John we were really tight for a while and then I moved down Valley and got married and he stayed up Valley doing his thing and we just didn't see each other as much and every Christmas I would shoot him a text and be like, hey, man, let's meet up for a Christmas cocktail, and it kind of became a thing. Each year I'd reach out, we'd meet up at some fancy hotel, have a fancy cocktail. So that's what these meetups are reaching out to someone that you haven't talked to in a while.
Speaker 1:
Another quick example last year, when I was home in Chicago, I reached out to two of my cousins and it was right around this time of year it was gonna be New Year's Day and we got together. I was like, hey, I'm gonna go jump in Lake Michigan on the first of the year. Do you want to join me? And both of them said yes, and it was just fun. We had to catch up a little bit before, a little bit after and do something crazy, like jumping in 40 degree water on January 1st in Chicago. All right, so spread some joy. Even if they can't make it, they feel the love. And I'm not sure if you guys can hear this, but there's like a vacuum sound in the background. Guys just got here to clean out our chimney. So if you can hear that, my apologies, but I'm gonna keep rolling with this.
Speaker 1:
Number four is to serve, and when we serve, we want to serve from a place of love, of joy, not a place of obligation. So a lot of people in need out there. We know that. Find a cause or a person that means something to you and serve them with joy, all right. So those are the four ways to spread some joy.
Speaker 1:
The first one, which I think is the most important, it always starts with us fill up your own cup. I think once we fill up our cup, the other ways to spread joy are really easy. So the second one is to use your words, use words of encouragement. The third are optional meetups, not those obligations, but reaching out to someone you haven't connected with in a while. Invite them to hang out. And the last one is to serve. All right. So, as we slow down over the holidays, those are four ways to spread some joy to the world. Joy to the world, all right, you are the joy to the world. That was cheesy, but that's how I'm going to end it. Have an awesome week and a happy, happy New Year.