Fear. Pressure. That feeling like everyone’s gonna realize you don’t deserve to be where you’re at.
It’s not a helpful place to be.
BUT, it’s also not a bad place to be.
It means you’re challenging yourself.
Imposter syndrome is a good sign that you’re evolving, but we don’t want to stay there.
We wanna smile at it, and move past it.
I give you a few steps on how to do that in today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast.
So if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, give yourself a pat on the back for doing something hard, and listen to this ep so you can move past it and do your best work.
Fear. Pressure. That feeling like everyone’s gonna realize you don’t deserve to be where you’re at.
It’s not a helpful place to be.
BUT, it’s also not a bad place to be.
It means you’re challenging yourself.
Imposter syndrome is a good sign that you’re evolving, but we don’t want to stay there.
We wanna smile at it, and move past it.
I give you a few steps on how to do that in today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast.
So if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, give yourself a pat on the back for doing something hard, and listen to this ep so you can move past it and do your best work.
This is the Durable Dad podcast. I'm your host, tommy Geary. This show is going to give you the skills and tools you need to be a rock solid man for your work, your community and, most importantly, your family. Alright, what's up? Episode number 52. We release a podcast every week and there are 52 weeks in a year. So we've been doing this thing for a whole year and I think it's just a little crazy to me that this has become a part of my life and we're going to talk about imposter syndrome today and that has definitely been a part of my podcasting journey and, I think, a lot of guys' journeys that are stepping up in life and trying to evolve. So we're going to talk about that. But first I really just want to say thank you for listening. I'm very grateful that there are people on the other end of this podcast listening. Thank you, thank you. That's all I'm going to say about episode 52 in a year of podcasting.
Speaker 1:
Alright, imposter syndrome. So a lot of guys will experience imposter syndrome when they are stretching themselves, when they are in high level positions or they're taking the step into the next position or have something big on their plate. It's the feeling we get when we're thinking we don't deserve where we are, where we're thinking and looking around, that other people are smarter than us, that I'm a fraud. It's a fear that we're going to be found out, that everyone else is going to see that we have no right to be where we're at. And for me in this podcast it was a lot of who am I to think that people are going to listen to what I have to say? And when we operate from imposter syndrome, we're not doing our best work. We're stuck up in our head, we're not acting with intuition, we don't get in the flow, we're operating from fear. And whenever we operate from fear, we don't do our best work. Thank you, you know the opposite of imposter syndrome is gonna be more of a confident approach to life, approach to whatever work or career you're in. So being an imposter syndrome isn't very helpful, but it's actually a good thing. It's a signal that you're going in the right direction, because when we see imposter syndrome, it's a signal that we're evolving.
Speaker 1:
I kind of think of when you're backpacking and the trail gets really sparse. So you're out hiking in the wilderness and the trail isn't well trodden. Usually this happens above tree line or in like a dense pine forest where there's pine needles everywhere. So in those situations you're gonna come across a cairn, and cairns are trail markers and they're little stacks of rock and you see one and you're like, oh, I'm on the right trail. Yes, and it'll be 100 yards ahead. You're not sure where you're going. And then you'll spot that cairn and you're like, yes, let's keep going, I'm on the right trail. And that's how we want to think about imposter syndrome. Because we are. We're all on a journey, we're all walking a trail and when we see imposter syndrome, it's a signal that we're growing, that we're evolving, and we can start thinking about imposter syndrome that way that, oh, I'm here, it's a new challenge. This is a good thing, this is part of the journey. So a great place to start with getting past imposter syndrome is creating awareness that you're there. So you can create awareness by identifying the symptoms.
Speaker 1:
There's one guy that I'm working with. He's a really smart guy, been in his company for a bunch of years now and has grown with the company and he's been feeling a lot of pressure at work. Pressure can definitely be a sign of imposter syndrome. And he has these thoughts. Thoughts are always going to be an indicator of where we're currently at that everyone around him is smarter than he is, that he's too young for the position that he's in, that other people are going to see, that he doesn't really know what he's doing or he's not capable of doing the work that is in front of him, and those are all symptoms of imposter syndrome. So you can catch yourself if you're having those kinds of thoughts. Other symptoms are overworking. So if you're overworking, trying to prove yourself, that could be a symptom of imposter syndrome. If you have performance anxiety because you're trying to do more, you're working late hours trying to prove yourself, making sure that people see your online late at night, or you're not taking breaks at work, those could be indicators of imposter syndrome. So we know some of the thoughts that were a fraud. We know some of the actions that were overworking or comparing ourselves a lot.
Speaker 1:
We also have feelings that can be a symptom of imposter syndrome. So fear, pressure. Those type of feelings are also going to indicate that that's where we're at. We're an imposter syndrome, and that's what awareness is. So you create this awareness that you're an imposter syndrome and you try to smile at it. Of course, I'm here, I'm stretching myself, I'm growing. I'm in a position where there's some expectations from other people and we just want to treat it like we're on the right track. So it's not even a syndrome, it's not a disorder. There's nothing wrong, no-transcript.
Speaker 1:
Feeling a little afraid about the next step and you wanna be patient with yourself. Don't look at a person that has been in the same position and is really successful and think that you should be where they are. Don't compare yourself, be patient. And then, once there's this awareness and you've kind of neutralized the imposter syndrome, you can start to shift, and the shift is to more of a growth mindset Rather than thinking I don't know what I'm doing, I'm in over my head. Think I don't know what I'm doing yet, I'm on the right track, it's only a matter of time until I figure this thing out.
Speaker 1:
I did a whole podcast episode episode 9, on Get Out of your Fixed Mindset. So maybe go back and listen to that one. It can sound cheesy, it can sound a little forced. I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only gonna be a matter of time. And those thoughts are going to create more openness, less fear. Give yourself some more space to figure it out, because if we're stuck in imposter syndrome. We aren't taking action that's moving us forward. We're not taking action that are gonna give us the results that we want. So growth mindset is a great way to get there.
Speaker 1:
Another thing that you can do and this is what I worked on with my client was look at all the reasons you do deserve to be in the position that you're at. Our brain will look back and say we didn't have the right education, we made mistakes along the way and we don't deserve to be here. Start looking for evidence of the decisions you made, the things you have done along your journey that have created your success, that you have contributed to, what you have earned along the way. And the client that I was working with he looked back and he saw the big projects that he tackled and he saw how he gave his value to other people that were new in the company and the knowledge that he had and how he applied it. He earned that stuff. And rather than looking for evidence on the contrary, you start finding evidence of why you deserve the role that you're in right now and that'll move you out of imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:
And it is gonna sound like bragging and guys have a hard time talking about the good things about themselves. And if you have a hard time talking about all the reasons you're good, all the skills that you have, it's a sign that you don't have the best self-talk. And maybe that's saying it a little bit bluntly, but I've seen it in guys, I've seen it in men's groups that I've been in, I've seen it in my one-on-one clients you are so much better, you are so much more worthy, you are so much more awesome than you think you are. And that's not selfish to say, that's not arrogant to say. When we believe in ourselves that we do a good job, that we have the potential to do a lot, then we get to realize that potential. And that might be a little bit of a rant there.
Speaker 1:
I'll bring it back to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is based in fear and questioning and we want to get to a confident place. So we're going to have to put our brain to work a little bit to find that confidence because, default, our brain is going to look at all the ways that we've messed up in the past. We put it to work by finding the things that we've done well and that's going to create some new confidence inside of us so. Imposter syndrome, notice the symptoms, call it out, create awareness, smile at it. It's a good sign that you're heading in the right direction, and then you keep going. Alright, episode 52,. Wrapping up, hope you guys have an awesome week and I'll catch you next time.