Durable Dad with Tommy Geary
The Durable Dad podcast gives men the skills and tools they need to be rock solid for their family, their work and their community.
Durable Dad with Tommy Geary
088: What You Want is Already In You
We’re ready to hit new goals in 2025. The journey we're embarking on is an inward journey.
Not so much a pursuit as it is an uncovering.
Shedding some of our programing, habits and lines of thinking, in order to uncover a truer version of you.
Personal growth is a process of peeling back protective layers. In this episode we dive into
• Exploring how goal setting can help reveal our inner selves
• Emphasizing the difference between discovery and pursuit in personal growth
• Identifying common fears and defensive layers that hold us back
• Sharing practical visualization techniques for personal development
• Discussing the balance between productivity and relaxation in achieving goals
• Highlighting the role of trust in navigating the unknowns of growth
If you're interested in applying the Prime 2025 process, check out our website for workshop information!
www.tommygcoaching.com
This is the Durable Dad Podcast. I'm your host, tommy Geary. This show is gonna give you the skills and tools you need to be a rock solid man for your work, your community and, most importantly, your family. All right, what's up? It's episode number 88. It is the first episode of 2025.
Speaker 1:And I'd say, work-wise and personal development-wise, I've been really focused on planning my next year and where I want to be, but not just for myself, but also with all my one-on-one clients. And with Brenda. She did her own year end review and her goal planning for this coming year and we came together and talked about both of ours and a lot of vision and where we want to be as a couple and where we want to be as individuals. And then, yeah, also with my one-on-one clients, we've been going through this process called Prime 2025 and really getting our mindset focused, dialed, on how we want to grow in 2025. So that's all real front of mind for me right now, and we're also hosting a workshop that's bringing this Prime for 25. If you're around Perrysburg, if you're around the Toledo area and you want to go, do like a one-hour workshop to get you ready for the next year, get you kind of centered, grounded, focused. That's what we're going to be doing and what I want to talk about today is this idea, this language behind becoming a better version of myself, becoming the best version of myself I want to become something.
Speaker 1:When we use that terminology, there's almost an assumption behind it of a pursuit Like you have to go out and get this better version of yourself. And in Buddhism it's more of a internal discovery, not an outward pursuit. We're uncovering our best self. I think of it as peeling back layers, peeling back layers of behaviors that we have emotions, thoughts, beliefs peeling them serving. It's expansive, it's open, and I hear a lot of guys wanting to become better versions of themselves, and I think what I want you to know is that the person you want to be, you already are, and all you have to do is shed the layers that are covering up that inner light that you get to shine. And we just got to sort through those layers of behavior, sort through those parts that block, defend, try to protect us from the shining our light, from having more joy in our life, like that's why we want to become better versions of ourself, because one it feels good for us, which is great. Okay, it's always nice to feel good and peaceful and more joy and more love. But I think we also do it because we want the world to be affected by us in a positive way, that that's why we want to become the best version of ourself, or uncover the best version of ourself, so we can do good in the world and we can change the world around us.
Speaker 1:But what are these layers that we have to peel back? These layers are different personality traits, different trains of thought. So think about that part of you that wants to win, that needs to win. This argument needs to be right. A lot of guys have this I'm either winning or I'm losing mentality. And I've done podcasts on this, a podcast on what's your scoreboard, because a lot of the time we'll put our scoreboard as money or as material things, and that gets in the way of our personal development, of our personal growth.
Speaker 1:That layer of behavior and line of thinking, fear, is a big one that gets in the way and covers up this internal true self that we have, and it's the fear of not having enough money or not doing a good enough job, or not not doing enough, or worrying about what other people think of you A lot of guys will want more respect. They want their kids to respect them or they want their coworkers to respect them, and that desire gets in the way of being our true self. We try to be somebody else that we think people will respect, and in that confusing process of trying to be someone, we forget who we actually are. So when I hear people say they want to be a better version of themselves, I want to be a better version of myself. This is like a work in progress for every human being. If there's a desire to be better, the journey we have to go on is an inward journey, because we're already amazing. We're already beautiful, perfect people. We just have to peel back the layers. So this time of the year, goal setting is an awesome way to challenge yourself, to uncover that inner you, that inner love. I mean. In Buddhism it is our inner light, but the way that they describe it is that the inner light inside of us is the same as the God universe, prana chi, the power that's all around us. So we are God, we have an inner God and we just don't let it shine, and that's normal because we have these protective layers. But goal setting, if you're going after a new goal, you're going to have to shed some of the current layers that you have. You're going to have to drop some qualities that you have, and the qualities that you want to start strengthening are usually the qualities of compassion and curiosity and confidence, and those are the qualities of your true self inside.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking about one guy that I'm working with and he's really a high achieving guy. He calls himself an anti-procrastinator because he's just gets shit done right away. Something's on his plate. He's determined, he doesn't put stuff off, he does it, or he puts it on his list and he does it later. He's determined he doesn't put stuff off, he does it, or he puts it on his list and he does it later. He's always getting after stuff. And it's something we've been working on, because this superpower strength is also a detriment, because he can't relax, he can't calm down, he can't just chill. So we've been coaching on this for over a year and it's like so many big steps going on vacation without working, putting his phone away in the evenings, not working off of his phone, only working off of his laptop. A lot of different steps and progress and growth. And you know he in wants to continue on his personal development, his personal growth.
Speaker 1:So what I did with him and what I've been doing with my one-on-one clients in this Prime 25 process is this visualization, where we visualize an inner light inside of us, and I'm not going gonna talk all through it, but when I was doing the exercise with this guy, his inner light wanted more calmness in his life and his goal is gonna be to meditate more often and that's gonna be a stretch for him. It's gonna bring up layers of wanting to be active, wanting to check stuff off the list. This personality trait that he has, this meditating is going to challenge it, because in the moment when you're meditating, it feels like the exact opposite of being productive, and going after this goal is going to help him break down this layer of defense. So I give that example as a way to show that who you want to be in 2025, you already are. What we have to do is drop some of our programming, some of our habits, some of our lines of thinking, in order to love a little bit more, to shine a little bit more. The person that you want to become is already there.
Speaker 1:The journey to unleash that light is scary, can be scary because it's unknown, it takes letting go of trying to control things, it takes trusting in the way that the world is going to work out and maybe this goes into another podcast. But we like certainty, we like knowing what's going to happen and what in life is predictable, and whether it's a meditating goal and we're sitting there and we're not doing anything and our brain freaks out because we're not doing anything and it's scared we're not going to be productive enough, or we want to change careers, or we want to ask for a promotion, or we want to start our own business, or we want to have a deeper conversation with our wife Any goal that we have. In order to achieve it, there are going to be steps that are unknown. We're not going to know what the result is going to be. We might fail, we might fall on our face and in order to go for it anyway, even though you don't know for certain what's going to happen, we're going to have to shed some layers. We're going to have to shed some layers of feeling safe, shed some layers of being right or winning, or maybe we look messy and we don't look really cool and all put together.
Speaker 1:So we peel back those layers as we go after a goal and you start to shine more your true self, that best version of yourself that starts to shine more. So it's already in you. All you got to do is stop, find out what it is that your inner light desires and then start going after it. That's what goal setting is all about becoming the better version of yourself not becoming it, but uncovering it. That's what goal setting is all about Becoming the better version of yourself not becoming it, but uncovering it. Okay, that's what I got for you guys this week. If you want to try this prime for 2025 process in the workshop coming up, it's going to be live this Friday. Check out the website for it Tommycoachingcom. Reach out if you want to do this with me, because I still have free strategy sessions available and have an awesome day.
